If This is Karma
by Awkward Little Boxes
Summary: Then Thatch doesn't think he got his money's worth the first time around. Three kids (two Ds) and one Fourth Division Commander-turned-caretaker with not an ounce of sense between them…the Whitebeard Pirates aren't going to make it out of this sane. Child-rearing on the high-seas, 100 words at a time. Fem!Luffy and Fem!Sabo.
1. First Meetings

**This is inspired by _ladeste's_ _Expect the Unexpected._ The premise is that ASL are adopted by Thatch, Luffy has a different devil fruit and Luffy is a girl. **

**I decided to write this as a collection of drabbles and picked the 100 word format because keeping to only that many words is fucking impossible for me. And I have no excuse for Fem!Sabo, it just happened. **

**This story is vignette driven with a loose plot, and won't necessarily be chronological, but I will make note of when the drabbles take place. Updates happen when they happen :)**

**About the timeline: In the manga, we don't see when Outlook III solicits Bluejam's help in capturing the kids, but it's clear that at least one season (winter) passes between when Sabo is spotted in Central Town by his father and when he's caught (probably more than that since the boys have time to build a sizeable treehouse in non-winter clothes). **

**So, I imagine that Thatch would have arrived there mid-late spring and that's around the same time that Saba's father made efforts to find her…and that the Tenryuubito would visit mid-summer.**

**This means that Ace and Saba have both already had birthdays by the time Thatch arrives at Fushia (assuming the planet has a similar axial tilt and that Dawn Island is in the temperate northern hemisphere).**

**RATING: Blanket T for language and maybe some violence, _no pairings_.**

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own One Piece, copyright is to Eiichiro Oda and Toei Animation.**

* * *

.oOo.

**First Meetings**

Words: 4x100

Notes: These eight should be self-explanatory. Thatch arrives ~mid-April.

.oOo.

* * *

**I.**

"Who the hell are you?"

"Sab-," _Sabine_ she almost said, but that was a popular Noble name and she couldn't afford _any_ suspicion. So she settled for, "Saba."

"Hmph, well this is MY alley, get lost."

"Bastard, I was here first, besides if you're looking for a guy to mug," she eyed his pipe and the combative look on his face, "help me with that kid?" She pointed to a stocky boy, "He shakes all the other kids down for money, so it'll be worth it. Split 50-50?"

"Hn, just this once, and it's 75-25 to me, you look weak."

**II.**

For a guy with skinny arms, fancy clothes and soft, clean hands, he sure moved fast. And dirty. Ace had never in all his five years, met any guy who'd be willing to kick another guy's jewels.

But the job was done, with Ace many coins richer than he'd be if he'd stayed in Gray Terminal.

"You weren't too big a handicap, for such a scrawny guy," Ace mumbled, looking anywhere but the kid.

Saba swiped his hat off and combed too-clean fingers through the most jagged haircut Ace had ever seen and tilted his head.

"Eh? I'm a girl."

**III.**

The Bluejam pirates were at wit's end. Days after getting an opportunity that was too good to pass up they _still_ hadn't managed to find the brats. The pinch-faced Noble had threatened to rescind the offer. No manner of threats, bribes, or beatings turned over a single clue of their whereabouts.

What they didn't know was that an entirely too interesting pirate ship appeared off the shore of Fushia Village days ago, and it carried a man with entirely too interesting hair and the promise of stories and adventure.

And Luffy's siblings could never deny _those_ stars in her eyes.

**IV.**

Thatch looked into three upturned faces. Two had shifty eyes, which was expected, but the last had a blinding smile and eyes nearly _beaming_ with worship, which was …frankly disturbing.

"So ...what are you kids doing here?"

"None of your fucking business!"

"Exploring pirate ships sir, for future reference."

"We were going to steal any treasure you have, but we saw you COOKING MEAT! How did you get the bread to stick in your hair? Can you cook me meat? HEY DO YOU KNOW SHANKS? I'm hungry~, MEAT!"

And well, it was hard to say no to eyes like that.

* * *

.oOo.

**Motives**

Words: 4x100

.oOo.

* * *

**I.**

Every few years Pops would send out all-purpose reconnaissance ships to the four Blues to gauge everything from social trends to regional economics and to scout possible talent to add to the already robust fleet. The Commanders rotated through this duty, and this pass was Thatch's turn.

So with his crew comprised of guys from every division (each ship was self-contained), he headed for his tour of the East Blue with a spring in his step and a whistle on his lips.

The nice, quiet towns tended to have the naughty, screamer girls after all – thank god for repressed tendencies.

**II.**

"This is your duty to your parents Sabine."

"_Whatever you're most comfortable with sweetie," said a plump woman to her son in Central District._

"You must think about the appearances Sabine!"

"_What a silly hat! You look cute dear," giggled a young mother with her daughter._

"You'll be happy too of course Sabine."

"_Are you happy pumpkin?"_

Sabine knew stolen snippets of conversation wouldn't fill the aching hole in her chest. So she ran, resolved to brave the Outskirts and Gray Terminal, because even at five she understood a slim chance at friends was better than no chance at family.

**III.**

Sometimes sleep just wasn't as important as catching bugs. Particularly moths. Like the one she was chasing now that was as big as her face. Sometimes, looking where she was going wasn't that important either.

"Anchor!"

"Shanks! Shishishi, sorry, didn't see you there."

Moth forgotten in favor of the coolest man alive, Luffy tilted her head and _looked_ at Shanks. His unsmiling face to the sea, he smelled like the inside of a sake barrel and looked like how she felt sometimes.

"Ah, Luffy …even _memories_ of being alone hurt. Dahahaha, what am I saying? Let's get you back home!"

**IV.**

Once, he heard, "Why, I'd catch the little devil and make him do my laundry, clean my house and tend my sheep – how many people can say the Pirate King's son is their servant, Yahahaha!"

Sometimes he heard, "Poor fool might be better off dead with baggage like that."

Most often though, he heard, "If Roger had a kid? That would be the worst!", "…should never have been born!", "…demon!"

But what bothers him most is a memory of faint, dying breaths. _"I'll love you always." _

It suggests …that he _is_ valued by someone. And he wonders which is right?

* * *

.oOo.

**Infestation**

Words: 5x100

Notes: Thatch's ship has been docked at Fushia for several days (~mid-late April). ASL are 11 and 7.

.oOo.

* * *

**I.**

Luffy wasn't sure what the fuss was about. They'd been invited hadn't they? Bread-Hair had fed them after all.

But that man with the purple face and steaming ears had dumped her out of the pot she'd curled into for a nap and yelled that she wasn't welcome. Then another man was shaking _a lot_ and holding a knife really tightly when he dragged her out of the 'spice cabinet' she'd fallen asleep in and told her to 'stay the hell out'. And that was fine 'cause the spices weren't tasty _at all_ even though they had smelled _so_ good!

**II.**

Emboldened by the lack of aggressive reaction to him and, more importantly, his sisters when they'd first been discovered, Ace had taken to jumping various members of the crew for a fight. Sometimes he would just accost them with his compulsive need to ask The Question.

He was shocked to hear everything from, "Man, that kid would be scary-strong," to "Really unlikely kid, I think Roger liked men."

Some simply shrugged, "So?"

But the most unsettling reaction was, "Wait, did that crazy bitch from eighth division put you up to this? I _told_ her I wasn't down with her kinks!"

**III.**

Thatch was _always_ prepared for some type of amateur sabotage to his sleeping quarters: the crew liked to think they could prank a prankster, poor fools.

But he wasn't prepared for _kids_. Heading for bed in the dark, he almost tripped over some lead pipes only to lose the balance from his left leg by stepping on a huge femur (_femur?!_), causing him to hop two steps to his bed where he stabilized and straightened to see an incensed boy standing guard at the edge of his mattress hissing at him to "_Shut the fuck up! You'll wake Luffy, asshole."_

**IV.**

Saba tossed _Beginner's Navigation_ aside. It was thuggishly uncooperative. It didn't have indices or a glossary, and the text was peppered with arcane terms like _albedo_ and _deliquescence, _but no contextual hints to their meaning. She was sure the author was laughing at her from his special place in douchebag heaven.

So, instead, she picked up a book on World Government systems and noticed all the angry, red, penned notes in the margins after a flip through it. Margin notes, in her experience, tended to be interesting, so she folded into the leg-space of Thatch's desk and began to read.

**V.**

"But why do they keep throwing me out?"

"Shhhhhh!"

"Honestly Luffy, we're not going to have _time_ to find any cannonballs or beetles if you bring the whole crew down on us by being so loud!" Saba whispered.

"Sorry," she wasn't really – the crew was at Party's, "So is it like with Dadan's Family? We have to do laundry and murder to be allowed on board at all?"

Ace made a strangled noise.

"Nah, I don't think it's quite like that."

"Oh! I see! So we should bring them meat instead. Yosh! It'll be payment for playing on the ship."

* * *

**Thanks for reading :)**

_Posted 12/10/13_

_Edited 1/26/14 - Notes and A/N for time of year and age consistency_


	2. Getting to Know You

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own One Piece, copyright is to Eiichiro Oda and Toei Animation.**

* * *

.oOo.

**Getting to Know You**

Words: 8x100

Notes: These happen while Thatch's ship is still docked at Fushia (~late April). ASL are 11 and 7.

.oOo.

* * *

**I.**

Six days.

Six days of kids in the cupboards, kids in the rigging, kids in the storage room, kids in the bilge, kids in the _walls, _kids in his _desk,_ and once, _kids in_ _his bed!_

And now this.

Three crocodiles, two snakes and a bear, all huge, hulking corpses cooling on his deck. He didn't even have words.

So he crawled to the only known authority and this was the cheerful counsel he received: "Well Commander, you _did_ feed Luffy and you're a _pirate. _ That they took the time to repay you with meat means you're stuck with them."

**II.**

Saba lurked in the dark behind Thatch's bedside table, planning on surprise to bring out an honest reaction once he came to sleep.

"Why are _THE_ Whitebeard Pirates here?"

Thatch chuckled. _Chuckled._ And patted her hat. "Just as cautious as your brother, not that there's anything wrong with that," he tilted his head, "Luffy doesn't seem to care."

"Well, Luffy is biased toward pirates, but if it weren't for your 'awesome' ship and 'mystery' hair, we'd have been able to keep her from leaving the mountain."

"Haha, well we're not here for anything more nefarious than drinking and looking around."

**III.**

Thatch heard Ace's surly voice around the corner. The kid was at it again, demanding the opinions of any pirate he hadn't yet ambushed.

You didn't have to be Vegapunk to figure out the reasons a child would have for obsessively asking something so specific and seemingly irrelevant. Whom the kid had asked before meeting Thatch and his brothers was worrisome. The amount of damage a disconnected and uninformed public could do with such a question was limitless.

And damage _had_ been done if Ace walked away from neutral answers like, "So what?" with conflict warring all over his face.

**IV.**

When Ridou told Luffy his kusarigama's story in his monotone voice, she bounced in place, played with her hat, then shot off elsewhere at the last word.

During Jayce's story - with hand gestures and contagious excitement in his voice – about his scarred face, she wiggled in place, watching his hands with oohs and ahhs.

When Ferrus _acted_ out the story of how he stole a persimmon, with villainous voices, heroic poses, sock puppets, and props …Luffy barely moved under the weight of her rapt attention.

_Calming her down_, Thatch mused, _requires an equal expenditure of energy by someone else_.

**V.**

Thatch smiled easily, laughed easily. He never seemed to react with judgments or temper, always a raised eyebrow or a drawn out "Oh?" instead. And always, whether talking, listening, eating or napping, the corners of his eyes were half-creased with a ready and waiting smile.

Wasn't he the least bit worried about Marines, or the three wild kids amok on his ship? Ace was baffled. "How can you be so relaxed and confident!?"

There was that eyebrow and hidden smile, "Why shouldn't I be? I'm with my family," Thatch spread an arm out, "we're strong." _And safe_ he left unsaid.

**VI.**

The contrasting behavior intrigued Thatch.

Saba would slump on benches, slouch against walls, sprawl on floors, scoff, sneer and snort, but put her in a proper chair and her posture was immaculate. She never leaned on armrests or crossed her legs, the only concession to comfort - a crossing of her ankles.

And Saba was generally just as unruly as the other two, ghastly table manners and all. After eating though, she always had a napkin in hand to dab politely at her face (and arms and legs).

Had her upbringing differed from the Ds to instill these unconscious manners?

**VII.**

Luffy ignored Ace's hostility and Saba's suspicion. She liked Bread-Hair. Makino did too; he offered to help her after crazier nights sometimes, like Shanks.

It was obvious he was a good guy. His crewmates always had those little smiles – like the one Makino had after a good day and relaxing bath – when he was around, and they always shifted around him, when he came by, like the Mt. Corvo wolves would around the biggest one.

And his ship was a whale!

But most importantly, when Luffy could get him to cook he made even nasty brussels sprouts taste extra delicious.

**VIII.**

Thatch wanted to ask if they were raised by wolves…

With _rare_ exceptions from Saba, they were so short on manners they might as well be in the red.

They managed some very improbable levels of filth, one time _daring_ to cross his deck covered in pitch, fish scales, banana leaves and having clearly angered a skunk.

They could strip paint with their language, though Thatch knew Luffy did it to watch her siblings' reactions.

And, most disquieting, they ate like a pack of berserker jackals in a feeding frenzy.

…but asking that would be a disservice to wolves everywhere.

* * *

.oOo.

**P. Daddy Thatch**

Words: 4x100

Notes: I. – III. Various times and places in the New World, ASL are 12 and 9.

IV. Early Paradise probably, ASL are 11 and 8.

.oOo.

* * *

**I.**

Saba wouldn't allow it. Women with sharp eyes like that were conniving _thieves_, and this one had her arm around Thatch's.

"Ace, Luffy. Thatch walked into that hotel with some bitch."

"CB Maneuver time?"

Saba nodded and Luffy giggled.

They found the room by following Luffy's nose as it tracked the faint traces of rosemary and basil that always clung to Thatch.

Ace picked the lock and Saba counted down with her fingers.

At zero, three children with large, teary eyes and full, pouty lips scrambled in calling "Daddy!"

Saba smirked as Curvy, Blond and _Fake_ hissed and hurried away.

**II.**

Ace would never admit that stalking Thatch during port-calls was fun. Because it _wasn't._ At all. _Especially_ not when they had opportunity to interfere with his entertaining, beer-goggle fueled decisions.

Ace barged into the room angrily, "There you are!"

"Doc said Mom's gonna be ok!" Saba sobbed and threw herself at a shirtless, thoroughly disgruntled Thatch and clung to his arm like a limpet.

Luffy, by the door, almost blew it by laughing, but managed to look hurt, hopeful and adorable all at once, "Mom finally woke up…"

And Tall, Ginger Butterface left, disgusted and defeated by CB Maneuver: Overkill.

**III.**

Thatch had a feeling. Not the pleasant kind that he _should_ be feeling while he had this sultry little hellcat in his lap. No, it was that growing nausea of horror and blue balls.

It was a certainty actually. This woman was _talented_, he was sober, she was making him feel _fantastic_ and they hadn't even gotten their clothes off yet …which meant that _somehow,_ Marco had surely lost track of the spawn.

_Bang!_

But Thatch knew where they were. Standing on a splintered door. Staring at him. With faces to crumble a diamond heart. Like clockwork. The little shits.

**IV.**

Integrating Luffy into the new Maneuver took _weeks_.

Convincing her that she wasn't _lying_ but instead telling partial maybe-truths didn't work. She was still utterly transparent.

Why they didn't just pitch it as a game of 'Keep your favorite Meat-Cooker from being kidnapped by Women' from the beginning, Saba couldn't say.

"Why didn't you just say that?! I can win any game if meat is on the line!"

The frustration was worth it. They never again wanted to see Luffy's silent anxiety and fear she'd had the first time she noticed Thatch didn't return to the ship for a night.

* * *

**Thanks for reading :)**

_Posted 12/17/13  
_

_Edited 1/26/14 - time of year and age consistency_


	3. They Grow on You

**DISCLAIMER:** I do not own One Piece, copyright is to Eiichiro Oda and Toei Animation.

* * *

.oOo.

**They Grow On You**

Words: 4x100

Notes: Second week of Thatch's ship in Fushia (~late-April). ASL are 11 and 7.

.oOo.

* * *

**I.**

It was cute.

"And this one _has_ to be an Atlas."

"Luffy, just because it's big doesn't mean it's an Atlas."

"Hercules then!"

"It's not even a beetle, idiot."

"Ace is the idiot! They don't have to be beetles, I found an Atlas _moth_ once."

Really cute.

He'd studied navigation partially as a means to explore the vast array of arthropods in the world, but hadn't found anyone with similar appreciation for their magnificence. Luffy's enthusiasm for his current collection, and her siblings' indulgent suffering left him warmly happy.

"That one," Thatch's navigator interrupted, "is indeed a Hercules baboon spider."

**II.**

An argument broke out between Ace and Saba on Fushia's dock.

"That's _IT_! We're doing our 50 right here and now," Saba hurled her charting papers to the ground and crouched, ready, with her pipe.

"Oooooh Ace managed to piss off Saba this time!"

"SHUT UP LUFFY," was shouted in stereo.

"Shishishi, me and Funny-Arms will keep score."

'Funny-Arms', who'd been idling against the gunwale, laughed at his new nickname. These brats were lively and mischievous.

And observant.

He was impressed that the littlest one had noticed the well-concealed upper arm prostheses he used for storing his emergency surgery tools.

**III.**

None of these hard-ass, manly pirates were huddled around the corner watching the three pests play with a transport crate for any reason other than to make sure they cleaned up after themselves.

It certainly wasn't because the empty crate-turned-Seaking-Battle-Arena reminded them of their own childhoods.

Or because it was amusing to watch Ace get manipulated into playing the evil Seaking Snaggletooth _every time_.

Or because Luffy's attacks were ridiculous, "You-Stole-My-Meat Pistol!"

Or because of Saba's thoughtful commentary, "She's got you tangled in netting Ace." (_"I know! Shut up you unhelpful witch!"_)

Nope, they were just there to guarantee clean-up.

**IV.**

_Apparently_ they'd been doing laundry wrong _all this time_.

"Shishishi, don't pirates know how to wash sheets?"

Ferrus stared incredulously at three authoritative children, "Beetle-ink stains? Grass stains? What are your bandits _doing_ with their sheets? No, nevermind, I don't wanna know. But why the hell would I want enough guys to make teams? For laundry?"

"Well, how else would you start a huge soap fight to keep your boss from noticing the shitty job you did on the sheets?"

"Yeah, the bandits always had at least ten!"

Because, _apparently_, their mistake was assuming laundry was about cleaning at all.

* * *

.oOo.

**Meanwhile**

Words: 2x100

Notes: Coincident with Thatch's stop at Fushia. ASL are 11 and 7.

.oOo.

* * *

**I. Merveille**

This time Shiki was going to do things a bit differently. One too many of his grand schemes had ended unfavorably for him, and that wasn't tolerable with a twenty-year plan on the line. So, yes, he had Indigo's team working to alter the IQ serum into something more spectacular, more militant.

But he also had them exploring every conceivable option of the environment-based evolutions the unaltered plant serum could effect on organisms that were already plenty aggressive, lethal and, most importantly, discreet.

Because this time, he wanted to have contingency plans. And he wanted them to be unexpectedly subtle.

**II. Outlook III**

If he'd had a boy, the child would be the most likely candidate of several suitors for Goa Kingdom's only royal child, and if that bid for betrothal failed, his son would then have a decent chance of securing marriage to one of the neighboring kingdoms' royalty, as East Blue seemed to have a surfeit of eligible daughters, but no sons.

This had been cause for considerable lament. Until news of another World Noble accompanying the Tenryuubito Jalmack reached his ears. A World Noble searching for a betrothal contract to his youngest and untitled son.

Finding Sabine was now imperative.

* * *

.oOo.

**Do You Have Any Aces?**

Words: 6x100

Notes: Offshore of a random New World Island. ASL are 13 and 10.

.oOo.

* * *

**I.**

Kingdew's division drew the short straw for ship-watch while Pops and the rest of the Commanders were to attend a meeting with the newly annexed island.

In light of this, and the inevitable child-sitting it entailed, several of his brothers had asked him to talk some self-preservation and common sense into the kids while Thatch's corrosive influence wasn't around. Because for some reason Marco, who normally had sitting duty, found their "antics" amusing instead of the typically experienced adjectives like terrifying and alarming.

Kingdew, however, held no illusions about how well his words would be heeded, those children were wild.

**II.**

"Okay, remember not to let them have molasses, flour or matches. Kids, no fires, pitch-pits, zip-lines or _anything_ else _at all_, you only do what Kingdew says and aren't allowed to reinterpret him in any way that damages the ship." Thatch managed to say all this in one breath while seemingly having enough hands to ruffle everyone's hair simultaneously as he took off down the plank.

Kingdew and the children sized each other up, and their respective thoughts were these: "We don't even have molasses on the ship right now…" and "…so, we can reinterpret him in any _other_ way!"

**III.**

Luffy was staring at his shoulder-rings with singular intensity. When that proved unsatisfactory, she climbed onto the card table and scooted within poking distance to do just that.

"They're stuck," she said.

"Into your skin?" asked Saba.

"Yes, they're pierced around my collarbones."

"So cool! Do you tie Ossan's flag to them when you fight?"

"That hadta hurt, why would you do that?"

"These are symbols to mark my mastery of the Endurance Trials on my island th-"

"Yosh! So what are we doing today Dewking?"

He stared at her. And decided it wasn't worth it.

"We're going to play…"

**IV.**

Thatch followed the muted thumps, laughter and Ace's hair-curling tirade to the Commander's Lounge.

He walked in to see rumpled books and bent cards everywhere, Saba and Ace scuffling, the spawns' ASL flag knotted through Kingdew's right shoulder-ring and Luffy swinging from the other, laughing like a loon.

"So …looks like you guys are having fun," Thatch flinched at Kingdew's mighty stink-eye.

"We were attempting Go Fi-"

"Go Fuckyourself!"

"Wow Ace, lose with some dignity would you?" Saba admonished then straightened, finished with trussing Ace in fishing line, "Welcome back Thatch."

"Thatch! We were fishing for books and Ace, Shishishi!"

**V.**

"You guys tried teaching Luffy a card game more complicated than Instant War?"

"I explained the rules in terms of food, bugs and fishing!"

"Rules, ha! That's rich coming from you, you cheating cheat!" Ace shouted from the floor.

"Well what'd you expect Ace, half her time on Scommessa Island was spent with the grifters."

Kingdew choked on his juice, "Thatch …you left her with grifters on _Scommessa_?!"

"_Anyway_, Ace finally lost his temper when it was his turn," Saba hurried on.

"What _normal_ person wouldn't?! By my turn you already had 28 books, _Twen-ty-Eight_! We only had one deck!"

**VI.**

Thatch watched Luffy scramble happily all over Kingdew, a broken poi tucked behind her ear and a fishing pole tied to her back. "And why's she so happy? She hates losing."

"I won, silly Thatch. I caught the big books from that shelf!"

"She decided size of books instead of amount wins."

And yes, those were Marco's rumpled reference books speckled with holes and fishhooks.

"_And_ I had the _biggest_ book!"

He looked to Saba and she waved a hand at Ace. Ace who had three tattered cards on his back.

"One guess as to which cards Luffy was dealt."

* * *

**Thank you for reading, especially to those of you who've reviewed, favorited and followed :D**

**NOTES**:

-If playing according to the four cards per book version, the maximum number of books you get from one deck is going to be 13, and thus 27 if you play by the two cards per book version (jokers included).

-_poi_ is the small paper scooper used in Goldfish Scooping (like in Movie 6).

_Posted 1/8/14_

_Edited 1/26/14 - time of year and age consistency_


	4. And Thanks For All The Fish

I realized that I've been careless with their ages. If Thatch's ship arrives mid-April, and assuming the planet has a similar axial tilt to Earth and that Dawn Island is in the northern hemisphere, then Ace and Saba will be 11 while Luffy is still 7. I've updated all the notes to reflect this, it was rubbing me all sorts of the wrong way. 

**DISCLAIMER:** I do not own One Piece, copyright is to Eiichiro Oda and Toei Animation. 

* * *

.oOo.

**And Thanks For All the Fish**

Words: 4x100

Notes: Second week of Thatch's ship in Fushia (~end of April). ASL are 11 and 7.

.oOo.

* * *

**I.**

"I can't tell you what to believe, Ace, but think about this next time - _who_ you ask matters more than how many."

At Ace's confused look Thatch continued, "Did any of my brothers answer the way you expected?"

He started looking mutinous.

"Your father," Thatch ignored the venomous glare, "was a momentous man. And whether liked or not, he was deeply respected by most people he met."

"What do _you_ know about anything?!"

"More than the city-mooks you've been asking know. Or, change your perspective, what do you think people who'd never met Luffy would say about her exploits?"

**II.**

"You're writing what now?"

"About yesterday! Remember? Makino helping Ace with the gum in his hair? Have you forgotten already old man? _You_ started the food fight you know!"

Thatch tugged one of Saba's curls, "You're so easy to wind up. Make sure you write about Ace's blushing and stuttering."

"Eh? Why?"

"You're using this for future reference right?"

"Yeah, I'll be writing a book of my adventures."

_The innocence of youth!_ "Well…that too, but Saba, a woman with your keen observation should start keeping notes for potential blackmail. Trust me, it'll come in handy someday. Think about it."

**III.**

"I think they're leaving."

"What? No! Wait, who's leaving?"

"Yeah. Thatch is, you moron. I-I think he gave me advice," Ace trailed off into grumbles.

Saba tugged on a curl, "Yeah…I think he did the same for me."

"Well, they're _pirates_, they can't ignore the call to adventure."

"~Oh~? Is Luffy really ok with them leaving?"

"Wait nooo!" Luffy jumped up and grabbed their arms, "Quick, guys, help me break all the sake crates!"

"What?"

"Why?"

"Pirates _never_ leave without sake, and they haven't finished the story about that music island yet, so they _have_ to stay and finish it!"

**IV.**

Evidently, storytelling and music were Important. Maybe even IMPORTANT, considering Luffy's reaction to the unfinished story was nearly on par with her reactions to meat-related 'disasters'.

It was among her most endearing qualities, because Thatch had been around and knew how few people could muster that type of passion for _one_ thing, nevermind sustaining Luffy-level enthusiasm for _many_ things.

But sake though! How could she threaten the _sake?!_

"Well, little spawn of the devil," Thatch dropped a hand on her hat, "Guess this is – "

"I'll see you again Bread-Hair, Shishishi, I'm going to be King of Pirates after all!" 

* * *

.oOo.

**The Mighty Jungle**

Words: 8x100

Notes: Spans the end of spring to mid-summer after Thatch's departure. ASL are 11 and 7/8.

.oOo. 

* * *

**I.**

Garp would kill her.

He was going to kill her, then arrest her and arrest her bandit family and Pochi, then throw them into the deepest level of Impel Down where she wouldn't get cigarettes and they'd be forced to eat Magra and maybe even Pochi to survive!

Because that brat wouldn't stay put.

Because not only was Luffy _still_ spouting crap about pirates and being King and the sun shining from Shanks' ass, she was talking about _Whitebeard_ now. How he _must_ be cool because 'Bread-Hair' (_"Who's awesome too!"_) said every single one of his ships was a _whale._

**II.**

"So cool!" Luffy sped around Ace in a circle of adulation, and while Saba's body felt drained and like mush, that smug look on Ace's face was all the motivation she needed.

"Ok, ok, I'll see your crocodile hopscotch, bear-baiting, vine-swinging and snake-egg snatching and raise you tiger-tail pulling, rope-sprinting over the ravine _and_, stealing Dadan's cigarettes."

Luffy, predictably, was aglow with stars of excitement. And Saba loved her for it; that vibrancy was contagious.

And _exhausting_. Saba had to get stronger to keep up with that _D._ stamina; their Obstacle Course Dare games could only get her so far.

**III.**

Soft, white and fluffy didn't fit Saba. She needed something sharp and colorful, to match her imagination. So Luffy found her one that fit! She touched the feather tucked under her shirt and laughed at how happy Saba was going to be to have such a cool pen.

"I don't see what's so funny Luffy, that can't feel good."

"Shishishi, yeah those birds were angry."

"I'm talking about the bees! I don't even want to know why you'd try to pluck a tail-feather from those asshole parrots, but didn't you at least see that _forest_ of beehives?"

"Was worth it."

**IV.**

_Shit._

_She wasn't in that one either!_ Ace scrabbled through the river to another crocodile and tore through it faster than the other three he'd searched. He definitely _wasn't_ panicking. Saba could take care of herself. He – he was just _making sure_.

She was nearly as zealous about her hat as Luffy was…and seeing it toppled over on the riverbank…

She was going. To. Be. Fine.

Ace moved toward a fifth crocodile.

"Are we gonna be selling those or something?"

"Luffy!" Saba panted, "'Watch my hat' doesn't mean drop – _Wow_, do we really need that many for dinner Ace?"

**V.**

Luffy zipped ahead to inspect a twig that she was _sure_ had moved on its own, but it was just a twig and not the mystery bug she'd hoped. Pocketing it and running back to her siblings, she stopped when she noticed that the lines between Ace's brows were missing again today. He looked so much better! Like he was enjoying himself.

Now he just needed to laugh more!

Luffy tilted her head. He didn't laugh at her jokes…but maybe after fighting? He would _sometimes_.

Decided, Luffy ran off to find a worthy fight, confident they would catch up.

**VI.**

"Saba,"

"Is thinking right now."

"Your shitty thinking needs to be in time out. Move your foot so I can reach my knife."

"Your idea was worse!"

"My idea didn't involve getting caught, wrapped and hauled to the cliff-tops as a spiderbat's dinner!"

Saba sighed, "Luffy would've flipped her shit at the size of that web."

"Yeah. But we're _not_ telling her."

"Of course not! We'd have to save _her_ when she finds it and – "

"No – we're killing this stupid thing once we're out – but she can't know about all the crap we're going through just for her present."

**VII.**

Saba flopped to the grass, a huge grin tugging her cheeks. Luffy was standing triumphantly on the dead caterpillar – the enormous, vicious one they could never beat – laughing herself silly. Then Saba heard Ace laughing too. She looked over at him, guffawing on the ground – something about him was changing. She liked it.

Where before, when he'd unbend enough to laugh along, it'd be restrained and distracted. Today, and yesterday too, he was actually gripping his stomach with that heaving, breathless laughter that was so natural to Luffy.

Whatever Thatch said to Ace, she'd have to thank him for it.

**VIII.**

"Oi, Ace," Luffy shouted around the tree.

"What?"

"Are fire ants supposed to be on fire inside?"

"…What?"

"…They're not supposed to be on fire at all…," Saba put her pen down to investigate with Ace.

"Silly, why call them _fire_ ants then?"

Rounding the tree, Ace and Saba saw a line of scurrying ants that were indeed on fire. Ants as large as their fingers with angry little fires flickering inside their unnaturally large abdomens. They shared a worried look.

Ace nodded and pointed in the opposite direction, "Luffy!"

Saba gasped and yelled, "C-Could that be an _Atlas_ _grasshopper!?_"

.oOo.

**Saba's Notebook of Observations (and maybe Blackmail)**

Words: 1x100

Notes: an excerpt

.oOo.

…but we couldn't find any books about Devil Fruits on Thatch's ship, so we still don't know anything about Luffy's besides what Shanks told her. But really, no matter how much Luffy says she'll figure it out and "_make it amazing"_, a 'logia' of some shiny, black powder doesn't seem to be worth anything more than really good defense. Even _that_ needs work – we can get good hits on her if we surprise her and we're fast enough.

Also, both Ace and I got a really bad feeling today – Luffy found some ants we've never seen in the forest before…

* * *

**Thank you for reading, especially to those of you who've reviewed, favorited and followed :D**

_Posted 1/26/14_


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